Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's shark week go big or go home
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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