no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
