The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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