It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
