i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
