Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
