oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
