In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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