either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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