i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
