I smell stomach acid.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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