I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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