i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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