i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
