very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Randomize
