he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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