i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize