We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
