She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Randomize
