she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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