just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
