you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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