Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize