You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
