I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just had sex bonerless
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize