i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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