Me too!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
