I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
