Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize