You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
