i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Randomize
