there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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