i wish peter jackson would direct porn
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
