end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize