So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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