Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
