In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
