so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
