Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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