Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think people are normalizing furries
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
