Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize