guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
