this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
