her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
