I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
