I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
