Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
