What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
