I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
