k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
