Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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