she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
you made out with another girl for some wings
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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