Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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