Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
