how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
