Your dad touched me again.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize