Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
