is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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