he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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