my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize