I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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