I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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