it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
