his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
did i just pee glitter
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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