I cockslap morals
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize