Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Are we in a gay sports bar?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
