Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
