I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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