I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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