you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
