You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Randomize
