I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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