i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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