we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
