You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
